» Ways to Annoy Bartimaeus...
We don't have 50 yet, but considerably less than that. Please, if you have your own, submit them!
- Mention to him casually that you can see onto the eighth plane.
- Call him unintelligent and lacking in subtlety.
- If you're another demon, take Ptolemy's form.
- Imprison him in an amulet.
- Compare him to a human.
- Threaten to imprison him in a box of rosemary.
- Make sure he's silent and unseen.
- Call him an imp.
- Summon him.
- Force him to spend time in the rain.
- Call him an evil, miscreant demon.
- Force him to obey a 12 year old.
- Threaten him with silver.
- Tell him you've never heard of him.
- Remind him that Solomon can't have been too impressed with him if he needed 10,000 other spirits
- Tell him that catacombs probably do not need defending in battles and that those who hide in them are probably scared.
- Remind him that, if you're being technical, he doesn't really have a brain.
- Ask him to perform a song from the Disney version of Aladdin.
- Make him take orders from Faquarl.
- Make a big show of looking for any record of his great history and come up with nothing but a footnote.
- Read out loud from Ptolemy's Apocrypha, and invent a section in which Ptolemy describes the incompetence of his demon Rekhyt.
- Trap him in a boom box that is playing "Walk Like An Egyptian."
- Innocently remark that you’d rather summon Jabor for the job than deal with his vanity.
- Challenge him not to say anything rude or sarcastic for a day ... and be constantly checking that he hasn't done so.
- Tell him that a fluffy bunny rabbit would be scarier than him.
Thanks to ValkyrieRaven for the last 12!